Ok, so for Steve and Jayme, I'm fine....I promise. Last week was the peak of a very long and drawn out month at our house. I was coming off a three week period where I had 3 sick kids and had only left my house 3 times. I was overwhelmed and just sick and tired of being up here with no one to talk to.
Like I said, putting my thoughts to words is very theraputic for me and I woke up the next morning feeling much better. I finally decided that I'm not going to be so passive about everything. I'm not going to leave invitations open ended any more. If I want to go shopping, I'm going to say " I'm going this day, and this time. Do you want to come. " Where I am so isolated from everything, I can't keep working my schedule around other people. I can't keep myself cooped up in the house. It's not fun, and its definitely not something I can take too much of.
Ben and I are getting a membership to our Fitness and Aquatic center and I'll be going every other day to lift weights or work out there. That will be a much needed out for me. Some alone time to clear my head and get in shape. And who knows, maybe I'll meet some volleyball players in the mean time. All I know is that actually going outside with no coat on this weekend was so rejuvinating for me! To feel the sun and not be freezing was long overdue. I love the snow, but I'm so ready for it to be gone. I'm ready for spring....bring it on!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Just need some down time.....
Let me just start by saying that I love my family more than anything. That being said, this is mostly a theraputic way for me to vent. When I put things in writing, it helps me to sort through my feelings. So this may not make sense to anyone else, but hopefully it will help me.
Since we haved moved up to Francis, we are in an interesting situation. We are definitely closer to family, but we are still far enough away that we only see them once or twice a month. Sometimes its just too hard to get out the door early enough to drive for 3 hours (round trip) and still have time to do something fun. Well, with me being the introvert that I am, I haven't made very many friends up here... and the ones that I am friends with, don't seem to have time to do anything.
So basically, I sit in my house all day long, chasing kids and cleaning, and thats about it! Going to the grocery store is about the only time I ever get out of my house, and anyone that knows my children knows that it can be more stressful than staying home( where they are contained :) )
I don't know how to describe what I am feeling besides saying that I am suffocating. It's gotten a lot worse during the winter. The weather has only added to how much I am stuck home. I spend so much time cooped up in my house, that I am no longer a patient mom, I'm actually quite the opposite. I feel like I am not myself. I feel isolated from the rest of the world. My close friends that I made in the past are busy with their own lives and so I feel alone in this.
Ben is great to try to keep my spirits up, but between work and training for his half marathon, we don't have much time. He doesn't understand why I am so irritable sometimes and there's not really any excuse. I just am.
I finally saw some sort of light in the form of a volleyball league up here. But when I called to see if any teams needed players, I wasn't given much hope. Hopefully, I can find something that I can do for myself to alleviate some of the drab that I'm feeling.
Since we haved moved up to Francis, we are in an interesting situation. We are definitely closer to family, but we are still far enough away that we only see them once or twice a month. Sometimes its just too hard to get out the door early enough to drive for 3 hours (round trip) and still have time to do something fun. Well, with me being the introvert that I am, I haven't made very many friends up here... and the ones that I am friends with, don't seem to have time to do anything.
So basically, I sit in my house all day long, chasing kids and cleaning, and thats about it! Going to the grocery store is about the only time I ever get out of my house, and anyone that knows my children knows that it can be more stressful than staying home( where they are contained :) )
I don't know how to describe what I am feeling besides saying that I am suffocating. It's gotten a lot worse during the winter. The weather has only added to how much I am stuck home. I spend so much time cooped up in my house, that I am no longer a patient mom, I'm actually quite the opposite. I feel like I am not myself. I feel isolated from the rest of the world. My close friends that I made in the past are busy with their own lives and so I feel alone in this.
Ben is great to try to keep my spirits up, but between work and training for his half marathon, we don't have much time. He doesn't understand why I am so irritable sometimes and there's not really any excuse. I just am.
I finally saw some sort of light in the form of a volleyball league up here. But when I called to see if any teams needed players, I wasn't given much hope. Hopefully, I can find something that I can do for myself to alleviate some of the drab that I'm feeling.
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